ABC Cornerstone: When Sophie Gets Angry - Really, Really Angry

Hi Parents,


Today we read "When Sophie Gets Angry - Really, Really Angry" by Molly Bang.  It's the story of a young girl who is forced to share with her sister, and gets angry over the unfairness.  The pictures show her "blowing up" and then running away into her nearby woods where she calms down.  Once calm, she's able to come back on her own and lovingly rejoin her family.



This is a short book for such a huge, impacting topic of dealing with anger.  Kids, even in K/1 classes, are still learning to manage their emotions, and it's probably not a huge stretch to say that each of us deals with kid meltdowns on a routine basis.  And I know my blood pressure rises when my kids start getting upset - it's easy to get sucked into their whirlwind and let my own emotions escalate with theirs --- at that point, everyone is in meltdown mode.  As the parent, I'm supposed to be the adult and not go there, but it happens anyhow.

In class, we discussed the "Incredible 5-point Scale".  This is a rating scale for emotions, ranging from 1-5 depending on how calm (level 1) or angry/sad/upset/scared/anxious/excited (level 5) a person can be. We talked about how their bodies feel when they are in upset zones, and how bodies feel when they are in calm zones.

The goal of this scale is to help kids identify their level of emotions, and to help them recognize when they are moving into the higher zones of 4 or 5.  The intent is to help them avoid those 4-5 levels, and keep their emotions in a 3 or lower.  It's OK for them to reach the 4 or 5 stages; everyone does from time to time.  But lashing out by hitting or kicking, or using loud words isn't the appropriate way to handle being at a 4-5.   The proper handling is for them to be "taking a break" in a quiet, safe space until they are ready to rejoin an activity (this is subtly different than time-out, because they should know they are welcome to come back to you and talk about their upset when they are ready.) 

More generally, the idea is that they are able to take a break while their emotions are still in that "3"-zone, before the emotions get to be a 4 or a 5. 

We talked about things that make kids mad.  We also talked about the things that calm them down.  We then drew pictures about these things. Those pictures will be coming home soon.

I'd encourage everyone to discuss with your kids how it feels when emotions are high, and how to properly handle those situations.  It's an ongoing talk, but an important one to address.